Once again it’s time for a round of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group (IWSG). Every month writers from across the virtual world get together and commiserate about their insecurities, expressing their fears so they, we, can move on and write. If you’d like to join in the fun, click on the picture above.
Now on to my own insecurity. A couple of weeks agoI was informed that my entry in The RMFW Colorado Gold Writing Contest was a finalist in the Mainstream Category. When I saw the email, I was whooping and hollering, repeating “oh my God” over and over as I read. (I always turn in to a thirteen-year-old whenever I hear good news) 🙂 Anyways, the news was fabulous and spurred me on in my current revisions of said project. Good, right?
It is, it really is, but…Doubt has begun creeping in. Doubt accompanied by that old nemesis of mine – fear.
What am I afraid of?
All of it.
What if it’s not good enough? What if the agent who judges my entry, hates it? What if I’m out of my league?
And then there’s the flip side. What if it’s good? What if people actually expect more out of me? What if I can’t finish? What if…? What if…?
I keep reminding myself of all the good in this small victory, and, yet I know the road I’m on has merely begun.
Where will this writing road take me? Will I ever really accomplish what I want to accomplish?
I’ve discovered those questions are really at the heart of my fear, and so I sit down and write. I know I’ll never know what can happen unless I try. But sometimes the voice settles in on my shoulders. It curls around the back side of my neck, and it blows on the hairs back there, whispering those fears in every breath.
What I want to know is this: does anyone else hear those whispered what ifs? How do you deal with it?