Another month, another opportunity to share what I’m insecure about. (such a looonngg list ;))I know you must be thinking: wait, wasn’t there a couple of months skipped?

Yes, I was most definitely out of the loop for a while, but our Captain, Alex Cavanaugh, has graciously allowed me to rejoin, and I couldn’t be more excited. And the timing, well, it’s perfect.

My insecurity surrounds the full revision I’m in the middle of. If you remember back several months ago, I was anticipating getting to the end of my manuscript, excited about getting to begin a new project. Unfortunately, as I got to the end, I realized that it needed so much more. Mostly due to the great reviews from my CPs, I became aware of the need to clarify the characters’ motivations. And in that moment of clarity, I decided to rewrite the book.

Agh, gasp, groan…right? Well, yes and no. It’s painful and oy vey, it’s slow, but I have to admit that it’s better. It’s closer to something I’d be willing to read, and that’s the first time I can say that, and something I’d be willing to submit to agents. Blood and sweat outline the edge of every page, but in a good way. πŸ™‚

Here’s where the insecurity comes in: because even though it’s closer, it’s still not exactly what I envisioned. I’m sniffing around the edges of the characters, plot, and dialogue that are in my head, but I haven’t quite reeled them all in yet. I’m worried that they’ll never exactly match my vision.

Does anyone else feel this way about their WIPs?

Or is it just me? πŸ˜›

If you haven’t already checked out some of the other amazing IWSG blogs yet, you should. It’s a supportive collection of writers across a variety of genres, and some of what they have to say will make you laugh, cry, think, and feel better about your writing insecurities. Check them out! Click directly on the image to go to the site.


About kimlajevardi

I am a forty-something-year-old writer. I'm currently drafting my second book. I've also written short stories, poems, and some non-fiction over the last several years. My interest in writing formed during countless hours with my nose tucked in books. I may have even been clutching a novel as I was born. :)
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27 Responses to IWSG

  1. Tonja says:

    You are definitely not alone being in the middle of big revisions.

  2. I’m only NOW – as in this week – getting ready to send WIP#1 to an editor – when I originally thought I would be ready in January πŸ™‚

  3. Hart Johnson says:

    Oh, man–I feel your pain! I am nearly always in love when I write my first draft… motivated and excited. But when I get done and start thinking about it, it NEVER lives up to the fantastic vision I’d had. Revisions improve it, but getting THERE… how does one DO that?

  4. Of course I have, Kim!

    I am about to dive into yet the 100 th PLUS re-write of my first novel. Yes, this is true. No exaggeration here. I may take a few more for you too, but don’t despair. It is all part of our journey. The finer tuned the book the better it will be. Sadly, that may take a hundred or more re-writes to get it there. If you BELIEVE in your story, then KEEP AT IT!

    • kimlajevardi says:

      Thanks, Michael! I will keep at it. It’s funny how much I want it, you know? The hardest work I’ve ever done just for it’s own sake. Thanks for commenting!

  5. T.F.Walsh says:

    You’re not alone… Lots of writers go through the same thing. I sure do, and tend to loose count of how many times I’ve rewritten scenes and even entire manuscripts. But in the end, it pays off:) Keep going, you’ve got a great story.

  6. I’m glad you rejoined!
    I rewrote my first manuscript from scratch. Sometimes we are just too hard on ourselves. Has anyone else seen the rewrite?

    • kimlajevardi says:

      Thanks, Alex! I’m pleased to be back in IWSG.

      I’m on my second rewrite, not completely from scratch but pretty near. It’s much better. You should have seen my first draft *shakes head* I think I took the “shitty first draft” advice to heart. πŸ™‚ I’ve had a lot of feedback from my great CPs since then, and with their input, I’m tackling the current full re-write. It’s a marathon, but their feedback makes it all manageable.

      Thanks for commenting!

  7. Denise says:

    Thanks for visiting my post about editing. I recently read that if you don’t feel your story is ready for publication, it isn’t. I fear I will never let go.


    • kimlajevardi says:

      I agree to some extent, but eventually you do need to let go. Sometimes the perfectionist in us takes over and stops growth. I hope you find that you come to be able to let go in time. Good luck!

  8. Karen Walker says:

    Oh, yes, definitely feel this way. So glad we all have each other as we bounce off the walls.

  9. melissamaygrove says:

    I did the same thing when I first joined. I forgot to post and got dropped. Alex kindly let me come back, and now I make place-holder ‘draft’ posts so I don’t miss. πŸ˜‰

    I love your analogy of ‘sniffing around the edges’ of your story. When I write my novels, they don’t always go exactly like I imagine, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Sometimes the plot changes and improves itself as it goes. And I think most authors get to know their characters better the longer they write about them. I know that’s true for me.

    Great post! Welcome (back) to the group. πŸ™‚
    IWSG #118 until Alex culls the list again.

    • kimlajevardi says:

      For me, it’s remembering that the first Wednesday is approaching. I tend to think in dates, not days. I’ve gone in and added the posts to my calendar, so I don’t get busy and miss again.

      I agree about embracing the twists and turns the plot and characters choose. I think as I gain even more experience- which comes from continuing:) – I’ll be more articulate in conveying what I envision. As you said, the more I write, the stronger/better the characters become.

      Thanks for commenting!

  10. Susan Gourley says:

    Every time I read the latest draft of one of my manuscripts I think of ways to make it better. Does it really need more work? I think it’s difficult to know sometimes.

  11. Tonja says:

    I’m revising too. It’s really slow, but I think the hard work will be worth it in the end.

  12. It’s a journey. We can have doubts all along the way, but the key is to keep on writing, put it out there anyway. All that work will pay off.

  13. Hi! Welcome back!
    Sometimes you need to walk away from your project for a while. I always hated when people told me that but years later I realize how true and important that advice is. Walk away, write something else or do some reading. Give yourself a few days or longer. Then go back in with fresh eyes. It really does help. And you will get closer to your vision of what you want. Have faith in yourself and your work. Keep at it. Keep writing.
    Heather M. Gardner

    • kimlajevardi says:

      That’s good advice. I’m actually on vacation right now (last day 😦 ), but I’m hoping this mini-break will replenish me. *fingers are crossed*

      Thanks for commenting!

  14. lexacain says:

    Everyone has a hard time with revisions. They can do 5-10 passes and work on certain parts (like the first 10 pages) for months, changing things 50 times. I never feel like I’m done. After addressing all my CPs’ concerns, I get to the point where I can’t tell if the new version’s good or bad, and I wonder if it will ever feel “good enough” to me. Keep going, Kim. Feeling frustrated is part of the process for all of us, but don’t let it get you down. πŸ™‚

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